Question 1

Name one room, relationship, or professional context where you have consistently been smaller than you actually are. What specifically do you leave out or turn down in that space? *(Listening for: the specific site of the shrinking. The person's ability to name it precisely is itself the beginning of the work.)*

Question 2

What was the original threat that made the shrinking feel necessary? Is that threat still present? *(Listening for: the temporal gap between the original threat and the current accommodation. Most people discover the threat has changed but the shrinking has not.)*

Question 3

What aspect of yourself has been waiting longest to be expressed in the room where you have been most accommodating? *(Listening for: the specific suppressed thing. Often it is an opinion, a capacity, a way of being that belongs to the person's original self before the adaptation.)*

Question 4

Where have you been smallest longest? What has that cost the people around you, not just yourself? *(Listening for: the relational cost. People often discover, with some grief, that their shrinking has also robbed others of something they needed.)* ---